Essential Advice for Gen X Caregivers: Lessons Learned on the Journey

Hi there, sweetheart. I want to share something important with you, especially if you’re a Gen Xer like me. Born in 1966, I’m on the older side of Gen X, but I know many of you are younger and still have parents who are alive. As a caregiver for my mom, I’ve learned some invaluable lessons that I wish I had known earlier. If you’re stepping into the role of caregiving or preparing for it, here are three things you absolutely need to know.

1. Start Decluttering Early

If your parents are starting to age and still have a lot of belongings, don’t wait to help them declutter. Trust me, it only gets harder over time.

For years, my parents would say, “We’ll get to it someday so you don’t have to deal with it.” But that day never came. As we age, everyday tasks become harder—getting out of bed, moving around, or simply mustering the energy to tackle big projects.

If your parents are willing, encourage them to sort through their belongings and purge what they don’t need. Help them while they’re still able, because if you wait, you’ll likely end up dealing with it all yourself. Most seniors accumulate a lot of stuff, and sorting through it later can be overwhelming.

2. Get the Paperwork in Order

One of the most crucial steps in caregiving is ensuring all legal and medical paperwork is sorted out early. This includes setting up:

• Durable Power of Attorney (POA) for financial matters
• Medical Power of Attorney for healthcare decisions

These documents are essential if your parent becomes unable to make decisions for themselves. I’ve experienced this firsthand when my mom had a stroke and suffered from aphasia, leaving her unable to communicate or understand what was happening around her. Without these legal authorizations in place, making decisions for your loved one can become a nightmare.

Find an elder law attorney who specializes in Medicaid and long-term care planning. This is especially critical if your parents have limited financial resources. Medical costs can drain savings quickly, and having these preparations in place can save you from immense stress and confusion later.

A key piece of advice: If your loved one is showing even slight signs of dementia, get the paperwork done immediately. Once dementia progresses, they may no longer be deemed competent to sign legal documents, making it much harder—if not impossible—to establish a POA.

3. Think Twice About Moving In

This is the big one. If at all possible, avoid moving in with the person you’re caring for.

While it might seem like a practical solution, moving in can have unexpected consequences on your mental and emotional health. Caregiving is demanding, and without your own space and privacy, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.

My husband and I moved in with my mom to help care for her, and while I’m grateful for the financial relief (no mortgage, just utilities), the lack of personal space has taken a toll. Living together as a caregiver and parent-child duo changes the dynamics in ways you can’t fully anticipate.

If you can, maintain your own residence and support them from a nearby location. Even living in apartments next to each other can be a better alternative than sharing a home. Having a place to retreat to when you need a break is invaluable for your well-being.

Final Thoughts

Caregiving isn’t easy. It’s filled with challenges that can sometimes feel like lemons—tart and sour. But you have the strength to turn those lemons into lemonade.

If you’re a Gen Xer with aging parents, I hope these tips help you navigate what’s ahead. Start early, get organized, and think carefully about your living arrangements. Life is tough, but you’ve got this.

Take care, and remember—you’re not alone. Hang in there, sweetheart. You’ll make it.

Until next time, take care.